Tell Me Am I Ever Gonna Find Him?

Nope, you’re wrong. Today it’s not me depressed or anything link this. This is just a song I more or less discovered on Youtube. Georgous woman with an incredible voice. Have fun and buy her album on iTunes.

Lisa Lavie – Angel

Regards, Christoph

Differences

“It’s just one of those days”, said the fox. “I was not able to trick the other animals.” “How come? You worked on your new tricks All night long.”, said his wife and the fox replied: “Yes, but for some reason, the other animals don’t believe me any more. It seems like they always know what I’m planning. Maybe we need to move somewhere else. To a place, where no one knows us.” “But we can’t move away. We have a great number of friends right here and we can’t leave them.” was his wife’s answer to the fox’ suggestion. The fox was getting angry, because he didn’t like his wife disagreeing with him. He decided to give it one more try, but if the beaver doesn’t believe his new trick, the fox will be looking for a new den somewhere else.

The next day, the fox went up to the beaver and told him that he saw the rats breaking the dam about half a mile down the river. The beaver was getting angry, because everybody in the forest knew about the rats broke the dam last year and so caused the death of many of the beavers friends. The beaver ran down the river, but then suddenly stops and goes back to the fox. “Hey fox, how do you know about the rats breaking the other dam down the river? You came to me from the opposite direction.” The fox got angry. “My wife saw them on her way back to our den.” The beaver knew the fox was lying, so he told the fox that it doesn’t matter whether the dam is broken or not.” The fox was speechless and though he knew the beaver was lying, he got beaten. The fox was very mad as he got back to the den. He told his wife that they will be moving to another forest.

About two days later, the fox and his wife were living in another forest and the fox came back from work again. “”It’s just one of those days. No one is believing my tricks any more. They seem to know what I’m planning.” “Maybe we should just stay here and you’ll look for another job!” the fox’ wife said carefully, knowing that her husband will be quite mad about what she just said. And of course, the fox got angry and yelled at her. The fox’ wife was hurt very deeply and decided to go back to the old den, with or without her husband. As she went there about two days later, on her way back to the den, she saw the rats destroying the dam, the beavers built last fall. She ran to the beavers cave and told the one of the beavers what she saw. As a matter of fact he didn’t believe her. “Nice try, but your husband tried the same thing about a week ago.” said the beaver and the fox answers: “Maybe, but this time it’s not a trick. It’s not my husband telling you about the rats, it’s me this time.” The beaver was convinced of being tricked and didn’t do anything to stop the rats. As a logical consequence the dam breaks and many friends of the beavers die.

Moral: “Don’t judge somebody because of ones friends”.

Regards, Christoph

Well, then don’t!

Screw you, bitch! I’m sick of you! I don’t know why, but I just won’t take your crap anymore. Well, maybe you didn’t even realize what you are (or should I say aren’t) doing to me.  I’m not your freaking playball. But, as usual, for the rest of you I’ll walk you through it.

Well, we’ve all encountered it. There is this person that you like because, hmm, you just do. However, this person seems to be all nice and the two of you like spending time together. And although the two of you have totally different friends it seems to work out just fine. You get along and even make some plans for the future. No big plans, but still things you’d like to do together. And BOOM, like a punch in the face that slutty bitch won’t talk to you anymore. Questions rise up like „Is it my fault?“ „What did I do?“ or, my all-time-classic, „Did she maybe get abducted by aliens and is trapped in another space many light years away from earth?“.

So here’s to you, freaking Cunt! (Oh yes, that’s right, I’m far beyond pissed right now!) For your own good, leave and never look back. After all, spending time with you was nice and shit, but why the hell would you treat me like that. Allright, you don’t want me in your life… fine by me. I mean, it’s not like I need you and if you want to go on ignoring me, well go ahead. But be sure of that one tiny little thing: Next time you ask me to have coffee with you because all your real friends dumped you all I am giving you is the big FU! I don’t need people to use me. I don’t need you to pretend you’re me friend but when I’m in need you just don’t react. If I IM you there is just no response at all. Not even three days later. No apology and god beware no answer. Well, fine by me. Go to wherever you want, just keep me out of it.

When it comes to men, I usually go for all or nothing at a certain point. First of all I never thought I’d do that with a woman. Second: I never thought it’d be that easy.

Bye Bye, Slutty Fucktard!

And for the rest of you:

Regards, Christoph

Whatever Happened To My Dreams

Well, consider this to be a relaunch of not just my blog but also my life.

Certain things just don’t work out the way you want it. This is why I not only changed my blog’s title but also the look of it. The original plan was to become a scriptwriter and then be handsome, rich, successful and in love. Well, screw that. Now that my civil service is done I’m going to study law in Marburg. Little did I know.

But you know, maybe that’s not even to bad. Actually, it feels quite good to not study „Unemployment“. I mean, I’ve always been like a sick sad version of Ally McBeal, so it’s probably not too bad to just go all the way. But law really isn’t the reason why I’m so upset. Its just the fact that I might spend the next couple of years in Marburg. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great city and I’m sure it’s got it’s good sides… But why, good Lord, why?

I don’t wanna get all crying and stuff, so let’s just stop right here. Thanks for reading, anyways.

Regards, Christoph

3 Reasons Why It’s Right This Time

Reason No. 1: It’s what I want – not what I think is right. This time I’m doing it because I want it.

Reason No. 2: It’s been EXACTLY one year since it started. Yes, this is somehow an anniversary. One year ago we first met. However, it’s been enough time to suffer, don’t you think?

And the best Reason of all: I didn’t cry this time!

Regards, Christoph

She’ll Cut A Bitch

I could have called that one "Thank You For Being A Friend" as well, but then again… I didn’t. Usually I would start with an Intro now that would give you a brief summary of what this one is about, followed by the usual "let me walk you through it". Sure enough, that isn’t goint to happen today.

I just don’t get it. Really, I do not understand you or me or anything. But what I know is that I am sick of this whole situation. We obviously need to chance things and we need to chance them now.

Since it took me an hour to write this and I have a mayor headache, that’ll better be it for today.

God, I need a shrink!

Regards, Christoph

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Why Not Give It A Try

Here I go again. It’s been a while, but then again nothing really happend. So, what am I blogging about today? Well, I’ll tell you as soon as I find out. The last couple of days I realized I don’t want to be unhappy anymore. I don’t want to be like all pathetic and crying. I want to believe that life is fair, kind and good. Matter of factly I don’t. Life just is a pain in the ass in my opinion. Everything that could possiby go wrong… Well, it does.

I guess I just need a new attitude. I need hope. I can’t go on believing that nothing good will ever happen to me. Yes, I’m gonna be all new. I believe that my life will work out well. That I’ll find love someday. (For whatever reasons, I still believe that the love of my life will be brought to me by Molly Shannon dressed as a fairy wearing a pink tutu. Funny picture!) Possibly men aren’t the impersonification of evil and pain. I mean, it’ll take a while until I start believing that. Step by step. I love life. I like my life. I think all the shit that happends to me only makes me stronger. In fact, I think I’ll appreciate it even more to be happy one day because of all the crap that I encounter day after day. Seriously, the future will be good. I will be good. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. God, I’ll be so strong when I get out of here… or… dead. I will be fine. I mean, I have a new attitude now. And this time it’s gonna last… maybe even a week.

Regards, Christoph

Tags: Attitude, Life, Love, New

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2nd Chances

Last time that we’ve had this conversation we decided we should be friends.

I know, I’m quoting the Spice Girls. It’s pathetic. It’s bad. I should probably just lay down and die. Well, that wouldn’t be any use, I guess, since I believe in rebirth. However, today I really badly need to talk about something that really moves me. This time however I’m not gonna talk like all blurry and cryptic. I’m not gonna use any real names, but maybe this time you’ll finally understand what I’m saying. So, as usual, let me walk you through it:

I am in love. I’m not just in love, I love someone from the bottom of my very heart. Actually it’s the first time in my life I ever felt such strong feelings. I have never before encountered anything that strong. However, it did not work out. Why? Well, I’m not too sure about that. I was probably too focused on making it work and the other person like… wasn’t. See, when I like someone I really want it to work. Sometimes I get a litte too enthusiastic and that probably scared that person off. However, he really wants me to be friends with him and I want that, too. I mean after all it’s better than nothing. It’s just that I can’t get over my feelings. I tried, but really I can’t. I love him so bad I would just die for him without hesatating a second. I would… I don’t know, there aren’t even words for what I am feeling for him. You see, I got to know him about a year ago. On the internet, as usual. But this was different, because you know chatting with someone isn’t such a big deal but when it comes to hooking up for real I sometimes back off. With him, meeting wasn’t really an option right from the start, since he wasn’t even on this side of the globe when we started chatting. However, we continued to chat for about 4 months and during this time, I’ve realised that, even if I have never seen him in person, he is a funny, smart, good looking and incredibly interesting man. However, when he was coming back to Germany, we met and let me tell you this: It was my second worst date ever! It was probably the second worst date in the history of dating. We barely talked, well, we did talk but there just wasn’t this energy, that goes with it. Well, we kept chatting after that though and decided, that we’d better be friends. I was okay with that, but the next time I saw him there suddenly was that energy. I least I felt it but I am pretty sure he realised it too. So than we’ve had this on and off thing for some weeks when I wanted him but didn’t tell him and he wanted to be friends but we’d still end up in bed every now and then. And that thing still goes on, except for the fact that his mind is made up and he starts to date others. Of course, I’m truly hurt. I have never felt such a pain in my life before, and believe me, I’ve been through some real shit. A couple of years ago on new years eve my uncle called me and told me my mother tried to kill herself. Well, me and "suicide ken" (let’s face it, folks, she definately isn’t barbie) never got along very well, but still that hurt me quite a lot. Although, and this is something I am not proud of, my first thought was "Please tell me it worked". However, it the pain I felt that time was like stinging someone fingertip with a needle, this time it would be someone stabbing my heart with a butcher knife, turning it around a couple of times, then ripping my heart out and finally forcing me to eat it. I never loved someone the way I love you!

So, what I’ve learned from this whole story is two things. Number one: Life (especially love) sucks. It sucks badly. Number two would be that life sometimes just doesn’t provide a second chance. Sometimes you only get one shot, and if you fail, it’s over.

Regards, Chris

Tags: love, life, 2nd chances

And There It Comes

Well, here it is. Right in front of me. You probably don’t give a shit about it, but I love it. My new MacBook Pro. Right now, what I’m doing is something called offline blogging. That means that I write this without being online and this app called Qumana publishes it as soon as I go online. Wonderful, now I can write about me and my thoughts even when there isn’t any internet connection. I assume you don’t care about that either. However, I do.

So Guys I really don’t know what to write today, since I am so fascinated of my new computer. You know, men and their gadgets… However, I guess I’ll better stop writing for today. See you soon.

Regards, Chris

Tags: MacBook, Apple, Gadget, Blogging

Being prepared

The last couple of days have really been about being prepared. From small things like watching the Season finale of Lost where we all know everything can happen to collecting information for my appliction for law school to hearing that one sentence that might or might not shake my world. But ok, let me walk you through it:

I know some day you’re going to say it. And in my head I’ve been through that a billion times. Yet I know it won’t be like that. It will be something what I call a „Selfsuck situation“. And yes, I call it selfsuck situation so that whoever googles that ends up reading my blog. (Hi pervs!) Yes, that IS desperate. However. It’s inevitable. One day it will happen. And I am quite positive it will be one day soon. When I think about it in my head it’s always the same. You say your line and I’m like: „Yeah, whatever. Suck it!“. The truth: Some day you’ll say your line and I’m like: „What, how can you do that to me. Blah blah blah, drama drama, blah.“ You think something wouldn’t get to you but when it’s there it totally makes you go all „Grey’s Anatomy“. And that, my dear friends, is a selfsuck situation. You think you’re prepared but deep inside of you you know you’re not. But whatever, ignoring a problem is most of the time a wonderful disfunctional way of making it disappear, so why not try?

Well, nothing left to tell you today.

Regards, Chris